Discussion Guidelines To Find Common Ground and Build Respect

Most, if not all of us, are familiar with community guidelines. At trainings, conferences, or workshops a list of rules and regulations are created, and adopted, that inform expectations around speaking and build the container for conversation.

We also probably all have our favorites - mine is say enough - and our least favorite - mine is whatever is said here, stays here, but whatever is learned leaves here. As, I have continued to explored the deeper meaning of respect in the workplace, I feel that discussion guidelines are essential; essential not just for conferences, workshops, and trainings but everyday meetings as well.

Most of the meetings that I have attended in my career had no such guidelines. Perhaps there were unspoken assumptions about how we should converse with one another, but nothing ever articulated out loud, and certainly not collectively generated and consented to. However, co-creating guidelines builds team trust and fosters mutual respect. It establishes common ground, gives clarity, and provides a space for collective buy-in for how members would like the team to function.

Simple Do's and Don'ts of Establishing Team Guidelines:

• When generating guidelines, I like to use a circle method for participation that way everyone is heard and has an opportunity to put forth a guideline that is meaningful and important to them.
  
• 5 - 8 Guidelines are fantastic.
  
• Once established, I ask participants if they are clear on the meaning of guidelines or if they need to ask clarifying questions to gain understanding. Guidelines are meaningless if we are operating from different places of understanding.
  
• Create a space for everyone to commit to the guidelines. If you are in a physical office setting, print off the guidelines and have everyone sign it like a contract, and keep it in a visually prominent place so it can often be referred to. If you are meeting virtually throw a graphic with the guidelines in the chat box or have the facilitator share their screen.
  
• Establish a process to acknowledge when a guideline is broken and how does a team move forward. Mistakes are going to happen and setting the expectation that guidelines do not generate perfection nor prevent someone from forgetting and falling prey to destructive habits - especially in highly charged moments.
  
• Revisit these guidelines often. Discuss whether any needed to be amended, changed, or taken off completely. It is also an opportunity for everyone to recommit to the practice again.
  

I emphasize that this is a new way of communicating that will take time, practice, and patience to reinforce.